After one’s own heart

Of course this all on hinges on you finding and hooking a veggie mate – or does it?

It pays to be ambitious: “Ahhhhhhhhh the thought of living with and snogging a fellow vegan!! But before the offers rush in (!) I'm married and super doubly happily so. But....wistful sighs.....I wish...” Gill Porter’s, 39 and from Leeds, husband Mark, 40, is trying to be veggie but eats fish occasionally. “When we first met nine+ years ago he was in the throws of rampaging carnivorism. We used to go out for meals and he’d usually order some creature, poor misguided thing. I was a vegetarian and a year into our relationship I started to become vegan. He moved in after I’d been vegan for about six months, so always knew who I was and where I was at. A year or so later on finding a pasty wrapper thrown into a bin, my laidbackness and civility dropped – I shrieked (I think literally!) – if he was going to eat animals, couldn’t he at least eat organic ones and not this processed rubbish? A few weeks later, on a trip to India, he had the last meat he ever ate (and oh sooo regretted), and he was mine!”

Years later things have calmed down and Gill takes a relaxed view: “But, although being with a vegan might be a fab idea, he is who he is and does things at his pace. Isn’t that the way it should be? As hard as I find it to believe now, I used to eat animals and I know people do things very much at their own pace. I think leading by example is always best.  I'm happy and healthy, and he is too (although of course he’d be happier and healthier if he laid off the fish and dairy...) but hopefully we have a lifetime together to explore those opportunities.”

Alexia Weeks, 21 from Southend-on-Sea, and boyfriend Steve, 23, have done their share of exploring. Alexia says: “I turned vegetarian about three years ago and shortly after my boyfriend decided to go straight into being a vegan! Then he turned just veggie as he found it hard to make the big change. I have just become a vegan, and am so excited to think of all the things I can make and show people how easy it can be! I tell my boyfriend little facts about eggs, milk, silk etc every now and then, to remind him why he went vegan in the first place! I know he has it in him, just like I knew I did – it’s all about biting the bullet and doing it, for the animals and for yourself.”

And it is possible, as Debbie Matthews, 27, from London, knows: “My partner Terrence (21) is now vegan. When I met him he was a steak-loving South African meat-eater, and I was vegan and a vocal animal rights activist. The night I met him at a party, he said in a big loud voice at a table of about 10 people ‘why are you vegetarian?’, which produced a barrage of harassment from his male friends ‘don’t you just crave a big plate of bacon?’ type stuff.
It took about one year for him to go veggie and he went vegan quickly after that, though he’s a pretty open-minded guy. I basically shared a lot of info with him, he watched AR videos with me etc and he made up his own mind. I made it clear I didn’t want him eating meat around me, and he did kiss me once after eating meat which was disgusting so I stopped seeing him for a few weeks after that. But he is now an activist as well and we both go to animal rights protests together. It’s really cool!”

Jo Randall, 33, knows how she feels: “When I met my partner Simon (33) I was in my early twenties; shy, lacking in confidence and strong in only one area – my vegetarianism. He wasn’t a vegetarian but we fell for each other anyway and I was swept away. A few months along the line he announced that he would like a vegetarian meal the same as me...and has never eaten meat since! To me it was a wonderful omen and we were engaged within the year. I’ve had to put up with people commenting that I ‘made’ Simon go vegetarian, but this was never the case as we were too wrapped up with each other during our precious weekends to discuss important environmental issues like that!

“We have now been married for nine years and live in beautiful Devon with our small menagerie of rescue animals. Three years ago Simon himself suggested that with our ethics and strong feelings on the subject we should become vegan, and that’s what we did that very day. We have been very happily vegan since that time, and even our families are used to the idea now. Eating is now a wonderful and creative hobby instead of a dull necessity!

“If Simon had remained a carnivore, I don’t know how our relationship would have worked after the first mad flush of love had settled down. The thought now of kissing anyone who has just eaten bits of dead animal is sickening. As it is I have found my perfect soul-mate; someone who is compassionate, environmentally aware, kind, thoughtful, full of love and a true friend of the planet...he truly is my ‘Mr Right’!”

Not many stories from men there but poet Benjamin Zephaniah says it all: “A vegan kiss is really special, a vegan kiss is where it’s at, a vegan kiss is very luving, for it contains no animal fat.”

Are you a veggie or vegan trying to make things work with a meat-eating partner? Or maybe you’ve managed to convert your other half? Are you soooo much in love you don’t mind a smacker from someone’s choppy chops? Or are you single and (im)patiently waiting for your veggie Prince/ss Charming to come along? Whatever your love story, Viva! wants to hear from you. Tell your tale to Michelle: michelle@viva.org.uk

Wear your heart on your sleeve! | Go veggie – get va-va-voom! | After your own heart | Everything but the boy/girl | How loved up are you? | More info